One of the first things my psychiatrist told me was that I’m human and I will still have days where my mood is low even on medicine and that was normal.  Since I’ve been feeling better, I forgot his statement.  Until I had two bad days in a row–yesterday resulting in me going home early from work.  I was so discouraged and felt sorry for myself, so I gave in to it and cried and prayed for Jesus to help me.  Of course, he did.  I was reminded of what the doctor said and remembered that oh yeah, I’m human, so I’m still going to have bad days once and awhile.  I let myself get discouraged instead of focusing my attention on my blessings and gratitude to Jesus for everything He’s doing in my life.  I nurtured the low mood and anxiety until I felt so bad that all I could do was sob.  I was suddenly aware that I was making myself feel worse, so I started to practice positive thinking and gratitude.  I worked on a project and got me off my mind and guess what?  I forgot I even felt bad!  The rest of the day was better and today I feel good again.  So, if you’re having a bad day, don’t do what I did and get discouraged.  Start with positive thinking and start thanking Jesus for everything you can think of.  Try to get yourself off your mind and do a hobby or do something nice for someone else.  Depression and anxiety are part of our lives and medicine can help, but we are still prone to it.  I know you can’t will depression/anxiety away.  If it were that easy, I wouldn’t be on five medications to balance my brain to feel better.  But, I cannot stress enough how important it is to watch your self talk and evaluate how you feel about yourself.  If you have negative thoughts in your mind about yourself, you are going to invite your illness to worsen.  I’m still learning to see myself through God’s eyes, but I’ve come a long way.  I may not be where I need to be yet, but I’m making progress.  My mind is being renewed.  The Lord has been helping me realize what perfectionism is and how it invites guilt into my mind.  He has shown me how toxic thinking makes me feel worse.  If you’re currently struggling, hang on.  Help is on the way!  Jesus will help you through it and this too shall pass.

 

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