I was sitting across from the doctor explaining that I wanted to go off of one of my medicines. He put his pen down and looked me in the eyes. He told me I have medicine resistant depression and that stimulant is helping me. Although I knew this in my heart, hearing him say it hit me like a ton of bricks. Any hope I had left of finding the right medicine leaked out of me. I battled this in my mind for days. Maybe, I’m not going to get better. Maybe, this is it for me–a bleak existence on this earth with everyday being a struggle.
But, that’s what the devil wants me to believe. I am a child of God. He knew me before he formed me in my mother’s womb. He has a purpose for my life. He said he will never leave me or forsake me. He said he has plans to prosper me, not to harm me, to give me hope and a future. That’s it right there–hope and a future, that’s what I needed to hear! It may seem impossible, but nothing is impossible for God! That promise in the word of God has been in my brain and spirit lately. I can’t allow the devil to steal my hope because it steals my peace and I become anxiety ridden, worrying about my future. I am putting my illness in his capable hands. I believe He will use it for good. I don’t believe in my spirit that he’s going to leave me in this place.
So, no…do not lose hope! He promised to restore what the devil has stolen. He is faithful to carry out his purpose through us, and he loves us. Because of that love, I can put my trust in the one who died for me to have everlasting life. I am renewed in my spirit with hope for a future! Bless the one who mourns, for they will be comforted.
If this is you today, and you don’t think you can do one more day…you can! He who started a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. Keep the faith, sister! Keep the faith, brother! Put your trust in Jesus. He knows you better than you know yourself. Don’t give up hope!